There is something deeply sinister about a young woman's teenage years. It seems that their fickleness, jealously and lack of good sense takes over at a certain age and leaves us parents waiting to pick up the inevitable pieces.
With my daughter, I had to sit and watch for 3 years as she pranced around our house in flimsy clothing, talking cheekily on her mobile about the other girls in her year 10 class and applying more black eyeliner than was sensible.
At one point, I knew Sarah was probably experimenting with drugs. One evening, I found a packet of rolling papers and a lighter in her purse. I didn't bother to confront her about it. She was hard-headed at that time and I knew that an open fight about it would only end in her sleeping at a friend's house for a week. And, I had attended High School, hadn't I? I'd enjoyed a few 'joints' occasionally, how hypocritical would it have been for me to get angry with her? Instead, my husband and I sat her and my teenage son down and talked to them about drugs, and were very open about it. We were the cool-as-a-cucumber parents and it seemed to be working.
In our house, there are no closed doors, no hypocrisy, no yelling, no violence and our children know that they can tell us anything. I knew that my daughter was going down a dangerous path, but at least she knew that she could talk to me without worrying about any form of repercussion.
To me, these were all issues that parents go through with their children. My oldest went through a rough patch, but is now attending University and has her life on a good track. In fact, so does Sarah. But unlike my oldest, Sarah had to learn her lessons the cruel, unusual and unnatural way. Sarah was posted on thedirty.com.
The things that were said about my child were not only infuriating, but sickening as well. The feelings that I felt that moment went much farther than merely hopeless, helpless or raging. The night that Sarah showed me thedirty.com, I saw red.
How horrible of this man to take away my child's Right to fuck up! As teenagers, we had the freedom to live and learn without worrying about our reputations being permanently tarnished. Back in the day it was only the newspapers that carried smut and scandal, but then peddlers of pain like Nik Richie decided to line their pockets by using the internet to spread rumours and gossip without so much as a thought for those who are being hurt.
When it comes down to it, humans make mistakes. I do. You do. Why should my daughter's mistakes be fodder for strangers? What right does he or anyone else have to castigate my little girl?
Thankfully, through no small amount of effort, we put Sarah back together again. But it wasn't easy.
I wrote in to thedirty.com requesting a removal about twenty times, begging and bartering, and received no response. Meanwhile, my daughter was feeling the flack in her classes (Let me tell you, having your 16 year old come home crying because someone called her a "bottle-rat/super-slut, is not a fun afternoon). The effects of the post only got worse until finally, I pulled Sarah out of her year 10 classes and moved her to another school in a different neighbourhood. It was a positive start.
My daughter knew that if she wanted to spring back from this, she had to repair her reputation. When she turns 19, Sarah will change her last name so that prospective employers can't find her name through a Google search when doing a background check.
Because Sarah had been so shell-shocked from seeing her biggest mistakes (including a few that she didn't even make) posted for the world to see, she watched herself and cleaned up her act. For the last two years of her High School career, Sarah kept her head down and only made friends that she knew she could trust.
My baby girl, fortunately, is now happy again. My only fear now, is that other mothers won't be so lucky.
Yours,
Victoria
Feel free to email me for any reason: victoriatheclean@gmail.com
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